It’s time to talk about snow candy


It’s time to talk about snow candy

As I sit here at 3:30 in the morning watching my clock slowly work its way closer to my alarm (which is going off in 28 minutes) I figured people want to know what am I doing up. Why is our coach up so late? Or is he just up so early because he is so dedicated? ha I don’t care if you thought that wasn’t funny I did. But in all seriousness we have an epidemic spreading through our gym. I can’t sleep from it, I want to clean the shit out of everything when I’m on it and I see all of you doing it. I’m talking about the good old white angel dust….

Coach Paul’s hands

I’m talking about chalk!! Come on like it wasn’t that obvious. I just want to set some rules straight on chalk. It is absolutely wonderful and serves its purpose very well. Chalk is used to dry our hands. Very handy around the pull up cage or when gripping a heavy barbell. But enough is enough. I have a couple issues with chalk that I have so elegantly listed below….


1. Chalk stays in the bucket. Our white gym chalk is used for our hands and that is its only use. Need to keep a tally during your ten minute WOD (because for some reason you forget how to count to 5 during a workout)?? That is why we have that little plastic container floating around with all the colorful kids chalk. I’ll have you know I really like our colored chalk…Gives the gym some life. so USE IT!

2. We all don’t play for the Heat. You know who im talking about. If you are some genetic freak worth millions like Lebron, then sure, you win. You can walk into the gym eight days a week and throw chalk up everywhere. I won’t even care. I’ll even ask you to sign my jersey (Psh, I’d never do that. I hate basketball..true story) so before you literally go elbow deep on our chalk bucket and chalk up your entire body, I want you to know that chalk, when over-used, clumps together and causes you to stick to the bar. sticking to the bar leads to friction which then causes you to tear. How much is enough? Well, after you chalk your hands **into our bucket*** rub your hands together until the majority of the chalk is off. That’s all you need. A very light coating will do just fine.

3. Chalk is messy. Ever cleaned the top of your ceiling fan?? like after ten years? Nasty stuff. well in about two days that’s what you guys can simulate with just chalk. Actually, I think its short of a scientific miracle on how dirty our floors can get in just a couple days after any wod with high rep pullups. The reason is because as the majority of the chalk you use falls off you hands, it eventually clumps together and forms dust balls that take over. I literally had to fight off a horde of 2 foot tall dust midgets. Scary shit..they took out the vacuum but thankfully Kingston ate them all…in about one bite. Point of that runaway tale is that our floor is pretty big, and it takes a solid three hours to sweep, vacuum then mop. Now isn’t it better I spend my time finding funny ass vidoes like this one, than mopping until the early hours every night?

Fly seagulls…FLY

So In closing, Short blog today. Because now that I have snoozed my alarm for fifteen minutes, which doesn’t make sense because I am not even asleep, I suppose I shall go to work. See you in there.

Workout of the day 22AUGUST12

A) Defecit Deadlifts

Establish 3RM Max in 20 minutes

B) 3 rounds for time:

3 Thrusters As Heavy as Possible (AHAP) or HAF…figure it out

4 strict handstand pushups *standard is 45lb plates and abmat*

5 Box Jumps (34/28)

10 T-2-B

5 Responses

  1. Lmao. And that’s Paul being nice because i’m sure he’s already developed some way to punish those who abuse the “snow candy”.

  2. Cousin Lori

    Now I know how I will annoy you if I ever visit. I may have to bring some with me as well…..muwahahahahahah!